Adoption Part II: A Natural Process Interrupted
This is the second in a series of blog articles meant for anyone who has a part in the adoption process: adoptees, adoptive parents, involved siblings, significant others of adoptees, and extended family. In my first article, I share my thoughts on the nature of adoption in general. Adoption is a beautiful and necessary part of our culture, yet behind the scenes, there is often quiet (and sometimes not-so-quiet) struggle and heart-aching loss for those intimately involved. Let’s begin with a look at the early stages of the bonding process between mother and child.
The Foundation of Bonding Begins Before Birth
During the in utero experience for the baby, he or she begins the critical period of bonding with the mother. During this time, the baby is soothed by the sound of mother’s heartbeat and the sound of her voice. The baby develops the ability to sense loving touch and the tone of mother’s voice even during the pre-birth experience of the mother’s womb. The bonding process continues as the gentle, loving words and sounds of the mother are welcomed by the baby. The child experiences literal oneness with mother.
The First Separation: From Womb to World
The birthing process can be quite traumatic for baby (certainly for the mother as well), as he or she is forced out of such a protective and safe cocoon into the bright, noisy, and harsh environment of the outside world. But baby is soon soothed once again by the familiar, welcoming sound of mother’s reassuring voice. Close physical skin-to-skin contact further reinforces that baby is safe. Undoubtedly, this is one of the most precious moments in life, both for mother and baby.
When Early Connection Is Interrupted
But what happens when this very natural process is interrupted? What effects can separation from mother at birth have for the baby? Certainly, the impact on the mother can be quite consequential, but I will focus on the part in which I have personal experience - the perspective of baby. In the next article of this series, I will explore the consequences for the child in the case of the interruption of this all-important early togetherness with the birth mother.
Moving Toward Healing
If you’ve experienced early separation, adoption, or emotional wounds that continue to shape your adult life, you’re not alone. The effects can show up in relationships, self-worth, and even in patterns related to substance abuse counseling. Healing is possible. Reach out today to begin reconnecting with your story, and to explore the support and guidance available to help you heal.