Finding My Pillars

The function of a pillar is to provide support for a structure above it. A pillar helps to distribute the weight of the heavy load it supports. In the healing, growth, and recovery process, there are similar necessary pillars.

I want to share with you my Three Pillars of Healing. But first, I’d like to explain where they come from - from my personal journey of healing.

Before we start, I want to name that there’s no right or wrong way to do this. This is just the way I chose. I share it to help you begin thinking about it.

Pillar One

The first step I took was to seek out a group of like-minded people dealing with the same challenges. I found a group where I could be seen and heard and where I could learn to listen to others without judgment.

Pillar Two

The next step I took was to begin individual therapy with a counselor who specializes in compulsive sexual behavior and codependence. There I could get individual attention with a focus on my specific needs and background. Together, we created a recovery plan individually tailored to my situation.

Pillar Three

The third step was to examine my spiritual connection. I began to see that some of my religious practices, although well-intended, were actually hindering my healing process and resulting in increased shame. I learned how to connect to love, rather than a dogmatic list of shoulds and shouldn’ts.

It’s important to remember there is no right or wrong way to go about a healing journey—especially when it comes to challenges like sex addiction. No perfect path. Don’t stuff yourself into someone else’s paradigm. Find what works for you.

Stay tuned to the next article in this series for more on my Three Pillars of Healing.